Lead the Charger
Photo by Wengang Zhai on Unsplash
“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well, you might find you get what you need.” - The Rolling Stones
After nearly a year of Covid19 lockdown and restrictions finally easing, I welcomed friends into my home on the 4th of July. The day was very relaxed. A much-needed gathering.
As the BBQ winded down, two guests remained, including my friend Kennethia and her friend Casey.
The conversation turned towards a subject I thought about in great detail during the pandemic—what is my purpose? A mysterious question which only I can answer.
From my understanding, purpose is innate, especially in men. Purpose lies at their very core and is a crucial piece to their lives blueprint.
So, when Casey shared that he did not have a purpose in life, nor was he really passionate about anything, my radar went up.
While he was genuine, it didn’t feel like he was agreeable so much as he didn’t understand his point of view.
I subtly asked a few probing questions on a variety of subjects, from hobbies to politics. True to his word, he had a neutral response to everything. However, I continued to poke the bear until he went off on a tangent.
Photo by Paul Bulai on Unsplash
Kennethia and I were thoroughly captivated while we witnessed Casey transcend onto his soapbox.
“You sound very passionate,” Kennethia smiled.
Casey experienced a breakthrough and, the fire was lit. Like anyone terrified of putting himself out there, he immediately recoiled and diminished the flame before anyone else could.
He argued that it was not a big deal. That it was small. That anyone who actively pursued his passion was considered a “quack.”
Before I had a chance to point out that he wasn’t giving himself a chance our gathering was interrupted by a man at my door.
The door was cracked open, but the screen was shut. A young man in his twenties stood on my walkway.
“Do you have an iPhone charger?” he asked.
Regardless of my charger status, I had absolutely no intention of letting a stranger, or his phone, into my house after dark.
Photo by Adam Birkett on Unsplash
“Are you lost?” I asked.
“I’m trying to find my car. It’s on Fig street.”
“You’re on Fig. Where did you park?”
“225 Fig St. So, do you have a charger?”
“What is the cross street?” I asked.
“Um…Leaf…by the church.”
I was wary that his words didn’t match his true intention. Especially since Fig and Leaf do not intersect; they run parallel.
“Go to the corner,” I pointed.
“I just need an iPhone charger,” he interrupted.
“I’m telling you how to get to the church.”
“Shit. I just need a charger…”
“Go to the corner. Turn right,” I continued.
He huffed like a three-year-old. Frustrated that he was denied a charger.
“Do you even have an iPhone?” he interrupted again.
“You’ll see a convenience store. Turn left. The church is on the next block.”
Frustration boiled inside him as if he were entitled to come inside my home.
“I just need to charge my phone!”
“And I just told you how to get to the church, which is only two blocks away.”
“This corner?” he dropped his head with his shoulders.
“That corner,” I fired back.
“And I turn right? Then I’ll see the convenience store? Then go left?”
“You got it.”
He marched away without a thank you. Not that I expected gratitude.
Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash
The seemingly irrelevant interruption gave me pause. The storyteller in me turned to Casey.
“That was a metaphor for you,” I said.
“How?” he asked.
“He was lost. Needed directions but fought the solution because it wasn’t what he thought it should be. He was so consumed with his “one and only” approach that he pinched off alternative ideas. When he tried to control the situation, he made it harder on himself.” I observed.
Kennethia’s jaw dropped and she beamed at Casey.
“When I offered him directions, he fought me. Me—as in a resident of this neighborhood with knowledge of the landmarks. He got all stressed out like it was some big, huge, near impossible thing to achieve. When in fact, he was only two blocks away,” I finished.
“Focus on the destination, not the iPhone charger,” Kennethia smiled.
Casey nodded as he took in the comparison.
It was late so Casey pulled out his phone to order him and Kennethia a ride home.
“Um…do you actually have an iPhone charger, though? My battery is pretty low.”
I nodded. He handed me his phone, which was substantially lighter than mine. It was because there was no case.
I plugged it in and took a moment to inspect the phone. There was no screen protector. Even more shocking was the body itself. The phone was in impeccable shape, from top to bottom. No cracks, scratches, or scuffs.
“How?!” my voice shot up a few octaves.
“Huh?” Casey responded.
“Your phone looks brand new. How is this possible?”
“It’s only a cell phone,” he shrugged.
My head was about to explode.
Sidebar!
Whenever I purchase a new phone, I treat it like a planned pregnancy. The nursery is done. Lamaze class is aced. My overnight bag is packed.
When the Apple Nurse opens the box, I always hold my breath.
Look at it. So beautiful. That is mine. That was made just for me.
The rep carefully removes the iPhone from the packaging. He gently places the new iPhone on the table to perform all the necessary procedures.
Naturally, I’m mourning the old model but secretly already playing favorites with the new one. I hope everything goes okay with the data transfer. This one will be just like me too, right?
Success! A feeling of relief washes over me. A perfectly healthy iPhone ready to go with all my preferences.
“Do you want me to put the new screen protector on?” the employee dutifully asks.
“Please,” I breathless say while holding back tears.
I eagerly watch as the employee slips the new “diaper” on before placing it in the new carriage, er ah, cover. Done and done.
This will be the one—and only—time my iPhone is handled with tender loving care. The moment I leave the “hospital” that bad boy is getting dropped, banged, spilled on, etc.
It’s a wonder how my phone survives the hellish BWG environment.
Photo by Tyler Lastovich on Unsplash
So, to see an unprotected iPhone still in virgin condition came as quite a shock.
“Just a phone?!?!?! No! No! No! The difference is that you aren’t putting any VALUE on this. Which is insane, considering how expensive these damn things are,” I hypocritically said since my phone takes a beating on the regular. “Whereas you’re putting way too much value on the specifics behind your purpose.”
“The phone is only material. It doesn’t matter,” Casey shrugged.
“Excuse me! This is no longer “just a phone,” I said with air quotes. “This is a display of CONFIDENCE,” I stomped and held up his phone like The Holy Grail.
Casey was terrified to connect to his purpose because he couldn’t see the forest from the trees. Completely reasonable. It’s absolutely terrifying to leap into the unknown. Not knowing what something looks like. How it works, who you’ll become, or looking foolish.
I, on the other hand, saw something brewing inside of him. A man with a lot to offer himself, his family, friends, community, and the world at large. It was all there. He just needed the courage to explore it.
And, if he approaches his new venture the way he treats his pristine iPhone, then he’s already victorious.
“Stay foolish. Never let go of your appetite to go after new ideas, new experiences, and new adventures.”
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